At Home He's A Tourist.

I come into this entry a little bit perplexed about what to bring into focus. My last experience in the Center was a tad underwhelming, and as I talked about in class, I had come down with a slight case of the "square peg, round hole." However, the more I look at it from an objective standpoint, the more I realize the areas I need to work on, to make this a rewarding experience.
I battle a form of degenerative arthritis which, some days, makes it a little tough to jump out of bed like a Tigger on speed. Coupled with an immune system like a spaghetti strainer, I have been physical disarray the past several weeks. This isn't a plea for pity, but a call to my own self, to basically "suck it up and live it up." Despite how antisocial I feel during the worst of it, it is my grand scheme to turn a negative into a positive perspective bent. I want to help people. I want to give people the tools which, sometimes, I felt I took for granted. From a young age, writing came naturally. I used to write up everything, from Billy Joel album reviews (We Didn't Start The Fire like a mutha!), to full-on imaginary paper ball baseball leagues(don't ask). Passion for the written word came stock with me, and I want to utilize this fact in such a way, as to give others a chance to feel that tickle in their spine when the (almost) perfect paragraph comes together.
So, where does this flighty concept of altruism fit into the concrete world of the Center? Firstly, what are we as consultants except windows into our writers and their own mental processes? No matter how much ego we have about our own unique sets of discourse skills, the only thing which matters is whether or not we help them. Our job is clear. Take a set of question marks, and instead of answering them, we need to give the writer insight into how they can answer them. From what I have seen so far, this is a daunting and never-ending tasks. No two consultations unfold in the same matter, and no two people will come out of the Center with the same exact feeling. I liken it to one of my main vices, the cruel mistress of poker. Even if you play your hand in the "correct mathematical manner" ten times out of ten, you still will get burned once in awhile. It's how you react to the negative experiences, whether or not you let it shake you out of your fundamental objective self, that makes you a better poker player, consultant, or person. The fact of me feeling "out of sorts" for one ninety minute experience does not mean I have any intentions to mail it in, or even quit. In fact, it's quite the opposite. Having an experience where the all-encompassing goal felt muddled and cumbersome, makes me want to clear it up that much more. This time in the Center is my chance to battle my own inhibiting preconceptions, and put the fruits of that labor to use for the only goal that matters; helping students.